Over the past few weeks, through my own experiences, friends’ experiences, and some people in the forum I volunteer, I learned a few important lessons:
Category: Self Improvement
All about improving ourselves to be better humans
The Problem with the Golden Rule
The Golden Rule is a life philosophy that states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” From Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, to Baháʼí Faith and many other religious and spiritual teachings, the Golden Rule seems to be the be-all-end-all approach for life. It is meant to inspire us to treat others the way we want to be treated. But why is it a problem for some, no, many people? What’s wrong with it? Here is why:
How to Practice Gratitude When You Think Everything Sucks
How do you feel when someone tells you, “look at the bright side, you still have a roof over your head” right after you let them know about a distressing event that has happened or is happening to you? Some of you who hate life (and people) may feel homicidal and perhaps also suicidal, as you already see life as something negative. You don’t care about anything good in life anymore. You may even feel like slapping anyone who tells you to be grateful for being alive. An interesting question may be, why bother practising gratitude at all? What are the benefits? The next equally interesting question would be, how to practise gratitude when everything sucks?
Don’t Judge Ourselves? We Should! But Do It Properly!
Many of us, when we’ve done something embarrassing, unpleasant, or are simply having negative thoughts, often judge ourselves harshly, which inevitably makes us feel worse. Those who choose not to judge end up suppressing or repressing their ‘unpleasant parts’, not wanting to admit the existence of the unpleasant parts, let alone deal with them. These repressed unpleasant parts grow into what Carl Jung calls “shadows”. Over time, these shadows leak through snarky comments here and there or unexplained hatred towards innocent people. What I suggest is, if we are to judge ourselves, we should go ahead and judge ourselves. But we should do it properly: go all the way setting a court with at least three people in it: a judge, a plaintiff, a defendant. And probably some police officers, just in case the plaintiff or defendant gets into a fistfight or something.
How to Not Get Manipulated
The aim of this post is to introduce you to the basic concept of manipulation. It’s not designed to hate manipulators (as all of us can be potential manipulators), but rather to understand why they are what they are, do what they do, and how they operate. It may help you avoid getting manipulated and avoid manipulating people intentionally or unintentionally.
Social Media: How to Use It to Your Advantage
These days, there have been many articles suggesting that we have a social media break. Or even further: delete our social media accounts altogether. My personal opinion about social media has been the same since 2008: it’s like a sharp knife. Just because it’s a sharp knife doesn’t mean it’s dangerous. Depending on how we hold and use it, a sharp knife can be extremely useful.
6 Ways to Get Better Soon when You’re Sad and Alone
Today I’d like to share how to feel better when you’re sad and alone. Note that feeling better doesn’t necessarily mean feeling happy. But it helps when the sadness is too overwhelming and you have no one around to console you. I’m a firm believer that all emotions need to be felt and acknowledged properly. Also, note that this post is in no way designed to distract your sadness as most contemporary happiness gurus tell you to do. Here are 6 ways to get better soon when you’re sad and alone:
How to Discover Your Life’s Purpose: Questions to Ask about Yourself
Life, to some (or perhaps many?) people, is meaningless. They think everybody is going to die anyway, so why bother with it. There’s no purpose, they say. Some people brag about not wanting money and fame, and are excessively proud of their slow life. They think they’re hip and cool for being able to detach from the materialistic world by not having any aspirations. Slow life is good. But simply staring at the grass and clouds with no aspiration to develop and improve your talents, and then bragging about your so-called happy life, is not hip and cool. You’re wasting your potential. Here are some questions to ask about yourself to discover your life’s purpose.
Destructive and Productive Things to Do After a Breakup
Breakups have become something normal to me. It’s no longer an earthquake-like event. It’s more like, oh, we’re not compatible, OK then, bye. But I’d still cry solitarily if I really like the person. Sometimes I’d cry for several days. Or weeks. Or months. In this post, I’d like to share what I know (from personal experiences, personal observation on friends’ experiences, and from reading books and articles) about how to deal with breakups. The first part is how to deal with it destructively and the second part is how to deal with it productively.
How to Make New Friends for Introverted, Middle Aged People: 7 Tips
Study shows that healthy and close friendships stimulate positive mental health and well-being. Problem is, old friends may be having a different lifestyle, moving overseas, or anything that makes it difficult to maintain the friendship. Another problem is, some people, the introverted ones especially, don’t really enjoy socialising much. Here are 7 tips on how to make new friends as a middle-aged introverted/ambiverted person:
