I used to think everyone understood why patriarchy doesn’t work. Surely it’s obvious that elevating one side while silencing the other always leads to resentment and, eventually, collapse. But then I stumbled across a man who presents himself as spiritual and wise, and I realised, not everyone really gets it.

In one of his Instagram reels, he naively argued that women who “trash patriarchy” are digging their own grave, because patriarchy is supposedly the system that gives women safety and freedom. Freedom, he claims, to “run their mouths about it.” This statement alone shows how blind he is to history.

The freedom women enjoy today is not a gift from patriarchy. It was fought for by suffragettes and carved out through feminism: movements born out of survival and resistance to oppression.

How “Spiritual” Men Sedate Women

What struck me most was how this man (and many so-called spiritual men like him) use seductive language to keep women in place. They say things like:

“The divine feminine must submit, trust, and surrender to the divine masculine’s protection.”

On the surface, it sounds poetic. But what it really means is: submit to men. This is the same old trick patriarchy has always played, just dressed in spiritual clothing.

Before feminism, women were told to submit to men. Religion reinforced it. Culture repeated it. Submission was framed as “feminine virtue.”

But what does it really imply? That women are weaker. That women cannot lead, cannot decide, cannot see further than men.

And while it’s true women are generally physically weaker, we are not weaker intellectually. In fact, in many cases women are perceptually stronger, especially when it comes to recognising patterns, connecting dots, and seeing the long-term consequences of today’s actions.

Masculine energy tends to be practical and action-oriented. But practicality without long-term vision is destructive. Look around: factories, cars, industries built without foresight have poisoned the air we breathe, polluted the rivers, and pushed our climate to the edge. This is what happens when masculine energy drives forward without feminine supervision.

Masculine and Feminine Energy: A Natural Balance

At its essence, masculine energy is about building, solving problems, protecting, serving, and initiating. Feminine energy is about nurturing, healing, supervising, connecting, and sustaining.

Both men and women carry both energies, but men are generally more inclined towards masculine, and women towards feminine. When each leans into their natural energy, they feel empowered, fulfilled, and balanced.

Patriarchy distorts this natural balance. It asserts that the “weak” must submit to the “strong”. Since men are physically stronger, women were forced to submit. Not only were women boxed into rigid roles, but they were also expected to serve men.

And here lies the biggest violation: service is masculine. Men are meant to serve women; women are meant to nurture. By forcing women into service, patriarchy rips them out of their natural energy and pushes them into resentment.

The Household Example: Where Balance Is Broken

The easiest way to see this distortion is at home. Traditionally, the man is the breadwinner while the woman stays home to care for the children. In theory, this could work, but only if roles are correctly balanced.

If women are nurturing children, cooking, and feeding, then men should be responsible for maintaining the house, including cleaning. Why? Because cleaning is service work. It requires discipline, structure, and maintenance, all masculine qualities. Cooking and feeding, on the other hand, are nurturing acts, and therefore feminine.

But patriarchy forces women to do it all: nurturing and serving, cooking and cleaning, raising children and scrubbing floors. This is not balance. This is exploitation. And it leaves women too tired to rest, too resentful to connect, and excluded from decision-making.

If men want their wives to remain in touch with their femininity, they should take on cleaning or pay someone to do it. After nurturing children and preparing meals, women deserve rest.

Even for women without children, the principle is the same: women exist to nurture, not to serve.

Masculine Is Not Above Feminine

Another myth patriarchy pushes is that masculine energy is superior. That’s absolute rubbish. Masculine and feminine are equally powerful, just in different ways.

Think of a car: masculine energy is the accelerator, feminine energy is the brake. Without the accelerator, the car doesn’t move. Without the brake, it crashes. Both are indispensable.

The problem is, patriarchy puts men in the driver’s seat and silences women’s role as the brake. It assumes that because women are physically weaker, they must also be less intelligent. But science shows women are exceptional at pattern recognition and long-term planning, skills vital to preventing disaster.

Look again at the state of our planet: endless acceleration with no braking. That’s what happens when masculine energy goes unchecked.

Practical Solutions for Today

So how do we restore balance?

• If a woman’s passion is nurturing children, her focus should be on caring, cooking, and feeding, not endless cleaning.
• All cleaning tasks (laundry, dishes, household chores) should be a man’s responsibility or outsourced to help.
• Women must have time to rest; otherwise, their feminine energy depletes.
• Of course, roles can be flexible; some women enjoy cleaning, and some men enjoy cooking. The point is: women must not be expected to carry everything.

Women, Independence, and Selectivity

In today’s world, women can also run businesses, build careers, and generate wealth. This is progress, but it comes with responsibility: women must remain selective about which men they allow into their lives.

A woman should always cultivate skills and financial independence, not to replace a man’s role, but as a safeguard. Men may become unfaithful, abusive, neglectful, or suddenly pass away. Women must be able to stand on their own.

That said, financial independence should never become financial responsibility for the man. Supporting him financially can emasculate him, stripping him of his provider role and leaving him feeling diminished. But it doesn’t just harm him, it harms her, too. Why? Because when a woman steps in as financial provider, she is forced to stay in her masculine energy. And polarity always works like a magnet: if one is masculine, the other is feminine.

This is why we see so many relationships where masculine women end up leaving feminine men. At first, it looks like it “works”: she provides, he surrenders. But over time, it will break down. The woman becomes resentful not just because she carries the weight of supporting herself, but also because she has to support him (and the children, if they have any).

And the longer she stays in this masculine role, the more cut off she becomes from her natural feminine energy. She ends up tired, drained, and disconnected from the part of herself that craves nurturing and rest.

Even the idea of a strict 50-50 split in finances is flawed. On paper, it looks “equal.” But equality isn’t about arithmetic, it’s about balance. A woman’s nurturing energy is not built for relentless output. It includes cycles of rest and renewal. Expecting her to sustain the same financial output as a man while also nurturing children, cooking, or even just maintaining her own wellbeing, is not equality, it’s over-extension.

When a woman’s energy is stretched thin, polarity collapses. Instead of magnetism between masculine and feminine, the relationship becomes two exhausted roommates splitting bills, stripped of desire and spark.

Balance, Not Patriarchy

Patriarchy can never be “done right” because it begins from a flawed premise: that one energy, one gender, must dominate the other.

Real harmony comes when masculine and feminine are honoured as equals. Men initiate and serve; women nurture and supervise. Men accelerate; women brake. Both hold power, both shape the future.

Patriarchy silences women, sedates them with religious and spiritual rhetoric, and drives households (and even the planet!) towards collapse.

Balance, not patriarchy, is the only way forward.