Disclaimer
I’m not a math expert. I’m just here to point out that there are many ways to live life. Effectively.
The Cult-Like Epidemic
I’ve been wanting to write about how religious and spiritual people can have cult-like enthusiasm when it comes to spreading their beliefs and promising a happy life. Heck, even I can get into that enthusiasm too at times. And today is the day I manage to write it in a hopefully-easy-to-understand format.
When I say ‘cult-like,’ I mean that these religious or spiritual individuals often condemn anyone who doesn’t share their beliefs, suggesting they’ll either go to hell or, at the very least, live unhappily ever after.
That reminds me of a couple of popular memes:
My Own Cult-Like Belief
My cult-like belief, which I enthusiastically spread recently is life’s purpose that must start from ‘self-love’, a term that’s been ridiculed by spiritual leaders like Sadhguru (click here to watch the video), and Echardt Tole (click here to watch the video).
However, despite ridiculing the concept of self-love, Echardt Tole confirms that it’s better than self-hatred. He also accepts self-love as part of the normal state of consciousness, the process of becoming self, which is, according to him, the ideal form of loving others, where we can love without attachment as it comes from knowing who and what we are, while also recognising ourselves in the other.
While I still struggle with attachment, I’m quite confident that I’m on the right path to becoming self.
However, my version of self-love is not aimed at loving others. It’s okay to not love everyone, as long as we don’t hurt them.
My version of self-love is more about loving ourselves enough so that we’re capable of bringing our uniqueness to flower into its full potential without having to rely on romantic or familial relationships.
Even if we do want to form a romantic relationship or a family, we must first learn to love ourselves. Just like the adage, “We can’t pour from an empty cup”, we must fill our cup first. When we understand how to love ourselves, we can give love more generously. At the same time, we can also recognise and avoid people who are harmful to our wellbeing as loving ourselves means we will never abandon our wellbeing.
2 + 2 = 4 and There’s No Other Way! – So They Say
Some religions promise that their religion is the only way for humans to achieve happiness. And/or heaven.
An example would be, “Just accept Jesus and you’ll be happy. If you’re not happy here on Earth, at least you’ll be happy in heaven. You won’t go to hell if you believe in Jesus. Guaranteed!” So they claim.
The Not-So-Wrong Point About This Belief
While I disagree with the concept of heaven and hell, I can sort of see how believing in Jesus can trick you into a happier life. You now have someone to ‘blame’. Plans are not working? Oh, that’s because you haven’t prayed much. Or maybe because you left Jesus… you’ve been an idiot who worships something other than God. You’ve broken the first commandment: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Repent!
I can see the logical reasons behind ‘not worshipping any other ‘God’ can lead to a happier life’. One of them is having one choice. Having a very limited amount of choices makes life much simpler as you’re not being bombarded with too many things that lead to decision paralysis.
However, while I still believe in Supreme Power, I don’t believe in the God pictured in the Bible, which is someone powerful with some weird jealousy and threw tantrums by flooding the earth and burning the whole city just because people ‘forgot’ Him. Despite those weird tantrums, the intention behind the story is clear and not completely wrong: live simply with one God and you’ll be happy.
2.5+1.5 = 4 and There’s No Other Way! – So They Say
Some people believe that happiness is a pure choice, that you can magically live happily if you choose to do so. By magically, I refer to the implication that the choice is something that can be done in the blink of an eye, disregarding the process (e.g. experiences and lessons, good and bad) that we have to go through to experience the so-called ‘happiness’.
The ‘Magic’ Formula
From what I’ve observed so far, this ‘magic’ formula has become a booming business on its own, offering a bypass that promises a quick manifestation of happiness.
An example would be a spiritual teacher telling their (paying) students to only focus on their intention and the positive aspects with no discussion on how to work on the negative aspects effectively. Effectively is the keyword here. Many spiritual leaders bypass the negative aspects of life. You can manifest anything you want: a loving relationship, a beautiful house, a lot of money. Just focus on your intention. Live with intention and you can manifest anything! So they claim.
I have nothing against manifestation. I just think spiritual teachers who sell shortcuts, promising happiness in the form of relationships and materials sound very dodgy to me. This is because happiness doesn’t necessarily come from relationships and materials, and life is generally understood backwards.
Shame on You for Not Wanting to Change
These spiritual teachers go even further by shaming people who are going through a hard time, saying that they’re going through a hard time because they haven’t given enough focus on how happy they want to be, and the only way to change their life is by joining their class (and don’t forget to pay) to help them focus on what they really want in life.
To me, spiritual teachers who do not teach the differences between higher-self and lower-self and that the lower-self’s desires can sabotage their spiritual growth, are not really spiritual teachers. They may not understand life themselves though it’s not impossible that some are just after your money and may lead you to the wrong path, away from your true essence, your true purpose.
The Not-So-Wrong Point About This Belief
Despite sounding dodgy, I believe these spiritual teachers who shame people into change are not 100% wrong. Some people do need to hear such ‘mockery’ so they can start doing something to improve their situation, even if it means wanting things that might not align with their higher-self. Because in the end, wanting to change is better than getting stuck, cursing the bad experiences they’re going through.
Furthermore, as per Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy (which is not an absolute truth), people can only get into ‘self-actualisation’ state after they satisfy their basic needs, i.e. physiological needs, safety needs, love and belongingness needs, and esteem needs. So it makes sense to get the basic needs satisfied first before being capable of ‘self-actualisation’ even though there has been evidence that people can jump straight to self-actualisation without having to go through Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy. Jesus, for example, ignored his physiological needs (fasting for 40 days and 40 nights) while living in the wilderness. No friend. No kitchen. No toilet.
Some other examples, among many other examples, are Siddharta Gautama and Ramana Maharshi. They spent a long period meditating in the wilderness. No safety, no long/belongingness needs. They went straight to self-actualisation.
My Experience With Manifestation
As mentioned above, I’m not against manifestation. In fact, I believe it’s real. So real that it terrifies me. Many things I’ve asked for have become real, to the point that now I’m extra careful when asking or hoping for anything regardless of the intention.
The ‘Bad’ Manifestation
The first ‘bad’ manifestation I had was when I was in my 20’s. A very noisy motorcycle overtook me, driven erratically, showing off as if the rider were the king of the world. It annoyed me so I just said some supposedly empty sentence in my head without much intention, “I hope you hit something so you learn your lesson!”
A few seconds later, the noise of the motorcycle suddenly vanished. As I drove past, I noticed the exact motorcycle that had overtaken me, crashed into another car, and the rider was badly injured.
I freaked out and told myself, “I really hope there was no power in the supposedly empty sentence, that the accident was purely a coincidence.”
The ‘Good’ Manifestations
Many other manifestations, big and small, have become real throughout my life. From being able to move overseas which I thought impossible, to finishing my Bachelor’s degree and then getting a Master’s degree, which I also thought ‘absolutely impossible’ as I had no confidence in my ability to commit to study and get my intelligence (or stupidity) challenged and questioned.
I had no confidence as the word ‘stupid’ was generously thrown at me throughout my childhood. On a side note, I’m not saying that everyone with a master’s degree is ‘intelligent’, but if you believe you’re stupid, finishing a master’s degree will make you feel much less stupid. I can 100% attest to this.
It’s also a lot of work and it trains your brain to think critically while also being open to be critically challenged. This is why, despite my belief in spirituality, I don’t disregard modern science ‘completely’ as it always evolves into a more valid one, and I love seeing the process of how the new understanding takes over the old belief.
The No-Way-This-Is-Real Manifestation
One of the biggest and the most unbelievable manifestations so far is where I live now. I remember there was some silly teenage quiz about choosing between living at the beach or in the mountains. My comment to myself was: “I don’t want to choose, I want to have both: the beach and the mountains. What a joke, I don’t think I can get one! Is there even such a place?” I remember I laughed so hard at my own thought.
There were no ‘intention’ or positive thoughts whatsoever when I ‘requested’ this through my supposedly empty, funny comment. In fact, I even thought it was impossible to live near the beach and the mountains as I’d never seen such a place.
But some years later… poof! Somehow, I now live in a beautiful suburb near both the beach and the mountains. I didn’t even remember wanting to live in such a place when I had to move out from my old place. The opportunity just turned up, and I quickly grabbed it without thinking much because I was in a highly survival mode. My focus when hunting for a new place was more on safety from natural disasters and wanting the place to be near the beach. But weirdly, fortunately, the universe gave me a place that’s near both the beach and the mountains, just as I ‘asked’ (unintentionally) years ago.
What I Truly Believe About Manifestation
If this relates to the theory that manifestation can become real only when we’re in the right frequency of high vibration, then I believe it must be from the feeling that I’ve maintained most of the time: being grateful for whatever I’m going through, the good and the bad.
All Roads Lead to Rome
If 4 is the number that represents ‘a full life’, then there are many combinations that can add up to 4. My point here is that I can see that 2+2 equals 4, and so does 2.5+1.5. But I can also see that there’s no ‘one’ right way to live. That all roads lead to Rome. And each path offers its unique perspective on living effectively.
I strongly believe it all comes back to what contract we signed before we were sent to the Earth even though I heard we can break the contract at any time in the name of ‘free will’. On a side note, this is something that has been on my mind: What’s the point of breaking the contract that our higher-self had signed? The current things that we can only see from our lower-self’s perspective may seem doom and gloom, but we don’t know if all the ‘bad’ things we’re experiencing are lessons that strengthen us so we can fulfil our duty—the duty that was assigned before we were born. And sometimes, it may not even be about the duty, but just for some ‘fun’ learning experience as a human being. We never know… our higher-self can have a weird sense of humour.
Conclusion
Even though you may think that you’re effectively and happily living your best life by believing in a certain belief, it doesn’t mean that those who do not believe/live the way you do will experience unhappiness.
Furthermore, the so-called unhappiness someone may be going through could be just a phase they need to endure as a form of training to prepare them for their duty, as per the soul contract they had signed before they were born.
And therefore, it may be best to get aligned with our higher-self (through meditation) instead of wanting things that our lower-self wants. This can be tricky because in most cases, we may have to fulfil what our lower-self wants first before being able to get aligned with our higher-self. This, too, can be tricky, as people often end up prioritising their unquenchable lower-self thirst, jumping from one high to another, and completely ignoring their true purpose.
All in all, I have faith that all roads lead to Rome. OK, I’ll change that, the hell with Rome. All roads lead to Bali!!!
Comments, Questions, Disagreements Are All Welcome
Feel free to share your thoughts. All comments, questions, and disagreements are welcome, as long as they relate to the topic and not personal attacks or other irrelevant nonsense.
