Society warns that being single later in life must be lonely or miserable, but my experience tells a different story. Being single and not young anymore doesnāt have to be tragic. In fact, it can be the stage where you finally live by your own rules, pursue your own meaning, and experience joy that is entirely your own: steady, quiet, and deeply satisfying.
People tend to fall into three broad categories: some move with purpose, some chase illusions, and some are simply running away. These groups can be defined as:
North Star Navigators: Those who follow their true calling.
Tail Chasers: Those fixated on external success.
Escapists: Those avoiding reality altogether.
Back in the cave days, everything was done collectively. Human survival depended on each other, so they had to huddle together to survive dangerous animals. There was no individualism. Everything must be done for the greater good. For everyone’s survival. Everyone was expected to be selfless. Fast forward now… where we no longer must huddle together to survive dangerous animals, selflessness that has been long glorified as a virtue, may be one of the roots of human misery.
I have plenty of ideas on how to celebrate Valentineās Day for singles. Apart from giving ourselves flowers, chocolates, and a fancy dinner, Iād suggest writing a poem or a love letter for ourselves.Ā
Iām a Fearless Woman, They Say Some friends still assume that I’m a fearless woman for standing up for myself: in school, in uni, and throughout my life. The assumption was confirmed even more strongly when they saw me moving to a country that doesn’t speak my language, leaving my long-term relationships and some short-term…
Whenever I hear or read peopleās obsession with happiness, that their lifeās purpose is to be happy, Iād almost instantly go āughā.Ā Donāt get me wrong. I donāt hate happiness. Happiness is important, but itās not the endgame. The endgame should always be to realise our full potential, where happiness serves as a gauge of how close we are to realising our full potential.Ā
Self-love is important for our well-being. Not loving ourselves will eventually harm our mental health and ultimately affect our physical health. Loving ourselves is not only good for our well-being, but itās also good for those whom we care about, as we have more energy and positive thoughts when dealing with them. Here Are 8 Practical Tips on How to Practice Self-Love
Many of us, when weāve done something embarrassing, unpleasant, or are simply having negative thoughts, often judge ourselves harshly, which inevitably makes us feel worse. Those who choose not to judge end up suppressing or repressing their āunpleasant partsā, not wanting to admit the existence of the unpleasant parts, let alone deal with them. These repressed unpleasant parts grow into what Carl Jung calls āshadowsā. Over time, these shadows leak through snarky comments here and there or unexplained hatred towards innocent people. What I suggest is, if we are to judge ourselves, we should go ahead and judge ourselves. But we should do it properly: go all the way setting a court with at least three people in it: a judge, a plaintiff, a defendant. And probably some police officers, just in case the plaintiff or defendant gets into a fistfight or something.Ā
I used to think that āto love myselfā meant spoiling myself, indulging in all things and situations that make me feel good. Regardless of the consequences. Of course this concept is wrong.
